Black Butler( Sebastian X Abused Suicidal Oc)
by Vahala Bichsel
Summary: A maid of the Earl phntomhive, feels that she is a waste of time and they would be better with out her. stion finds the girl rather peace full. The maids name is Zecorina or Zeza for short. If you don't not like suicide and abuse you do not have to read.
1. Chapter 1

~Sebastian's P.O.V~

As I'm heading to get the young master up and ready for his day, I see Zeza already up and starting her chores which makes me happy to finally see someone besides me doing work without messing it up. I've noticed something when Zeza works she cleans the same area over and over again like it's compulsive action. When I confront her about it she says it's a Obsessive-compulsive disorder or OCD for short which explains why everything is so neat and clean. I wish the others would clean like her. " Good Morning Sebastian" I hear Zeza say and that brings me out of my thoughts " Good Morning Zeza I hope you are doing well this morning." " I am Sebastian, but I believe you are going to be late on waking the young master if we keep talking." Zeza says as I look at the time she is right of course. I bow to her and take my leave to complete the task at hand. When I reached the young masters room with three minutes to spare and I have Zeza to thank for it without her I would have been late. As I wake the young master he seems to be grumpier than normal, I wonder why, but he will not tell me even if I ask. " Sebastian?" my young master calls "Yes young master" " Sebastian how is Zeza doing as a maid?" this caught me off guard. " She is doing well a lot better than the others, she has not caused any messes, and if the others do she is already cleaning it up before I get there. She also has OCD which she says its very helpful in her cleaning abilities, I believe it was a good choice to hire her." I tell the young master as I serve him his tea, I can tell he is thinking about something to do with Zeza, I hope it is good I can't lose someone who can clean, cook, take care of the garden, and take care of others messes. "Sebastian I believe it would be a good idea to promote Zeza to head maid." the young masters said with a smile which shocked me because it was a real smile and not a fake one that he normally gives. "Alright then I should go inform her of this while you have breakfast young master." " ok Sebastian what is for breakfast?" young master asks " I do not know young master Zeza is making breakfast today." I say as I walk with the young master to the dinning room to see Zeza serving the young masters breakfast with tea. I see Zeza tell the young master what she made for breakfast and what tea she served with it, I think she will like her promotion. I seen the three idots and Zeza standing on the left side of the table,but I need to talk to her about the promotion.

~Zeza's POV~

I see Sebastian looking at me as if he needs something of me, but what could he want because it's a little unnerving the way he is looking at me with his crimson eyes like he is looking it to my soul. "Zeza this is amazing thank you for cooking for me, but you don't have to do everything for me or Sebastian, thats why we have the others. Please dont over work your self ok." I hear the young master say and I just nod in agreement. I messed up again why do they keep me around if all I do is mess up and anger the young master. I'm a horrible maid and person I don't deserve his praise or anyone elses. " You all are dismissed exept you Zeza, Sebastian wants to speak with you in the kitchen" the young master said in a bored tone. I follow Sebastian into the kitchen and I saw my spotless kitchen covered in dirt and ash, Oh theos two better pray i don't kill them in their sleep. After I thought that I start cleaning to my standards, which if I'm lucky I will finish befor lunch. "Zeza what are you doing? What happened in here?" Sebastian says as he walks in which I don't answer any of his questions because I'm more worried about the cleanliness of the kitchen.

~Sebastain POV~

As I walk into the kitchen I ask " Zeza what are you doing? What happened in here?" she dose not anwser me she is focused on her cleaning. She probably did not even notice me helping her out, after we finish and I give her the good news I'm going to scold those two idots for ruining her perfectly spotless kitchen. I wonder how she gets the whole mannor spotless befor I'm sopossed to be up and get the young master up a hour and a half later. Hmm she is always quit, so that is why I have not noticed she is up cleaning. I also have always wondered why she is always wearing a black long sleeve maid uniform that is ment for winter not summer. " Zeza why are you wearing the winter uniform instead of the summer one?" she stoped for a second, but went back to cleaning, I guessed I caught her off gaurd. " I wear the winter unifrom because I don't like to show much skin, and also I asked the young master to only give me winter unifroms" she said in a monotone voice. I believe that this mess is bothering her greatly. "Sebastion you can stop now the kitchen is clean to my standards and thank you for helping me clean." she said in monotone. " Alright then Zeza you have been promoted to head maid, and I apologise for the idots who messed up your spotless kitchen." I say with a smile. She is shocked I wonder what she is thinking."Thank you for telling me Sebastian and tell the young lord thank you for me aswell" she says with a closed eye smile. " Zeza you my take the rest of the day off you have earned it" I say with a smile. She bows and walks toward the servent quarters, before I leave I notice a small drop of blood, but is was not there when we finished cleaning maybe it got there before Zeza bowed and left. I clean up the little bit of blood, and i decide to go check on Zeza in a little bit.

~Zeza's POV~

Once I get to my room I head to the bathroom attached to my room to take bath and punish my self for messing up. Why am I so useless and the young master made a useless maid the head maid, but why I'm not special and I have not been here as long as May Rin has why haven't they made her head maid. I know she is clumsy at times, but she is better at this than me. I should end it and May rin can be head maid. KNOCK...KNOCK.. "Just a monment I'll be right there" I say in my normal monotone voice. When I open the door I see Sebastain there with a cup of tea, so I let him in. I'm glad I was not in the bath when he knocked what would he think whenhe walked in and seen my small sickly body in the bath tub. "Zeza I was wondering if you are bleeding?" "Yes I was, but I cleaned it up no worries Sebastian was that all you needed it seems like there is more because you brought tea with you?" I hope the small bit of blood is all he is here for because I don't like people putting their noise into my business. "Actully it's not Zeza I came here to ask what time do you get up to have the mannor spotless by the time I get up?" he asked. Well he does not need to know I only get two hours of sleep each night and take small naps during the day. " I'd say around 12:30 am or 1:00 am. Why should I get up later than that?" I hope he dose not think I'm a freak for getting up that early even though I get up at a 11:00 pm normally, but he does not need to know that because the little he knows the better. " That's really early and you should sleep more, but I can not control how long or much you should sleep. I have to say I agree with the young master you should not over work your self, but as I said I'm not your keeper. Zeza enjoy your day off alright." he says with a smile, " Of course Sebastian and I don't over work my self. I haven't done that since I was a child, but those were different circumstances." I say in my normal monotone voice. "Zeza please tell me of your past and how you are able to fight, so well with the abnormal opponents that are always after the young master." he asks which catches me off guard with his question, but at least his question does not divulge to much of my past. " Well Sebastian when you group up in a very not loving family, and your siblings are always trying to kill you learn how to defend yourself. You don't think weather you are happy or not, you just try to survive." I say with a little bit of sadness. He looks shocked at what I said, but I don't know why maybe I have been such a good actress that he did not pick up on that I was ling each time I smiled.

~Sebastian's POV~

As I hear Zeza tell her story, I can't help but feel sorry for her. I know that's wrong of me, but I can't help it I just wish I could have saved her from that which would give me someone different than the person I love. Wait did I just think that no... no...No...NO! I can't fall in love with a human. That's just crazy and even if I did she probably does not feel the same. I should let her day off, but I have a bad feeling if I do. I can't stop her even if she did something bad, but I know with this job anyone will feel stressed. " Zeza if you ever need something, or someone to talk to I'm here for you. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day off." I say while standing up. "Alright Sebastian, thank you." she says with a closed eye smile that makes my heart skip a beat. Why does she do this to me. I bow and leave and once I'm a few feet from her door I hear it lock. I don't know what she is scared of , but I know one thing I want to stop it from scaring her. As I'm leaving the servants quarters I see May Rin walking to Zeza's room, and I don't think anything of it because they are probably friends and May Rin might be curious of why the young mater made Zeza stay be hind this morning.

~Zeza's POV~

Knock..Knock ... Who could it be this time. As I open the door I'm pushed to the floor by who ever was at my door, when I look yp I see May Rin there, but she does not look like her normally happy self. She always looking at me like I should die, but I don't understand why, I have always been nice to her. " Well well look what I have here a fithly dog on the ground were she should be and stay there." I hear May Rin say like there is venom dripping off her words. " Oh Zeza what did Sebastian want to tell you?" she asks " H-he he w-wan-wanted t-to t-tell me I-I h-ha-have been pro-promoted t-to h-head m-maid" I stutter out, as I finnish what I was trying to say she kicks me in the stomach over and over again. I start coughing up blood " That figures a slut like you would get promoted to head maid befor me, but that won't last long will it one day they will find out what a suisidal person you are, and when that happens I will be made head maid. Good bye Zeza." she said spating venom at me she left with a fake smile on her face.

~~ Time Skip~~

~Zeza's POV~

As I clean up my blood from the carpet, I start to cry because what May Rin said was true. I get up and lock the door once again, hoping that no one would come to see me. I pull out my jurnal that I have keept sice I was a kid, I believe that Sebastian will like to have it, I pull out the only formal dress I own. I love this dress it's a beautiful navy blue long sleve dress. After I have everything ready besides my letter. I start to write my letter:

Dear who ever finds this,

I'm sorry I caused so much trouble. You don't have to worry about that any more I won't be there to cause any more trouble. Please give the head maid position to May Rin she deserves it more than I do. Bard and Finny please don't be mad me or think this is ya'lls fault, I know ya'll have tried to help me past this, but this is the only way for me to finally do something right. Young master I'm sorry if I caused you any grief, and I wish you well. Sebastian you may or may not like me the way I like you, but I love you because you always tried to be there for me and be a good friend. Also, Sebastian Finny and Bard did not destry my spotless kitchen it was May Rin, she has always been againnst me. Undertaker please us the clothing I have laid out on my bed for making me 'beautiful' again and thank you for always being there when I need you. I will always be apart of the phantomhive staff, but I will continue as a spirt.

yours truly,

Zeza Luganica

I finnish my letter and place on to of my dress. I head into my bathroom, I fill the tub with water and I cut my wrist then get in the tub so there is not much of a mess to clean up.

~~Mini time skip~~

My vision starts to have black spots and I feelreally sleepy. I think it's time for me to sleep forever and not mess up any more.

~Sebastian's POV~

I see Pluto scratching at Zeza's door, I wonder what that stupid dog would want with Zeza. when I try to oprn her door it locked, thankfully I have a key to open all the doors. After I unlock her door and open it I see a letter on a beautiful navy blue dress, so I pick it up and start redaing it. She feels the same why I do, but she's commiting suicide, but were. I see the bathroom door closed, maybe she is in there. Please be well and not dead please I need you. I run into her bathrom to find her in the tub with her blood mixed with the water. I grab her wrap her in a blacket and rush her to undertaker to see if there is any way to save her. When I reach undertakers I walk in to see undertaker already waiting for me. "Undertaker please save her, I don't think I would be able to stand the others without her." I said with worry evident in my voice. " Of course we wouldn't want another Sebastian obsessed grim reaper now would we" he says very seriously, which is surprising. He takes Zeza from me and into a room were he can hopefully fix her up, so my life can almost be whole. why does she think that she is useless. She cuts her self, but what in her past made her like this maybe when I get her back to normal she will tell me, or maybe undertaker might have something on her past.

~~Time skip~~

I wait for undertaker to come back with the news on Zeza's condition. I hope she is ok because I want to tell her I feel the same way. I honestly love her, even if I have to turn her into a demon, so we can stay together forever. "Sebastian?" I hear Undertake say, I open my eyes to see him with blood on him which worries me. "Yes Undertaker?" I say with worry in my voice, "Zeza is a wake now and wants to speak with you, and also if you want any information on her past just ask me or her ok." he says with a smile. I walk to were Zeza is and I see she is still the same expect for her forearms bandaged up. I let out a sigh of relief which catches her attention, and she looks at me with a sad expression on her face. She looks like she is about to cry, I do something that surprised me. I hugged her as I do she tenses up, but relaxes and sobs into my shoulder. " I'm s-s-so s-s-sorry..*Sob*...S-S-Sebastian please don't..*Sob*... be m-mad at m-me" she says crying " Zeza I could never be mad at you because I love you." I say, she looks up at me with a happy look on her face, which makes me smile and I was not expecting her to kiss me, but I melt into it until she breaks it to ask "Sebastian can we go home?" she asks with a happy smile that actually reaches her eyes. I could not say no to her, so I took her home while carrying her bridle style through her window. I set her in her bed, and see she still has the thing on her bed from before, I start picking them up and putting them away till she stops me. " Sebastian I want you to have that journal it has everything you could ever want to know about me and more, but promise me you won't be mad at what is written in that journal." she says shyly while not looking at me. I take the journal from her and promise that I would not get mad at her, but I do not believe I could ever be mad at her for something that she wrote. " Sebastian will you accompany me to the kitchen, so I can make the young master his tea and sweets" she asks like she is scared of something or someone. " Why of course I will, but it's still your time to relax before tomorrow" I say still worried that she might not be up to it after what she's gone through. I watch her get up and put on her maid uniform. I see all her scars and something interesting, so I asked " Zeza what are the black markings on your body?". She was shocked that I asked or that I saw them. " They are identifying markings of my family and clan. The journal explains it all in great detail, but after the young master goes to bed you can come back, and I will explain it to you and why I'm able to fight so well or the reason that I cannot die easily. You didn't have to take me to undertakers to fix me up I would be fine a hour later, but since undertaker got involved it took longer. I'm sorry you had to go through that." She explained as she opened the door to leave,but she noticed I did not move when she was going out the door. She came and pulled on my sleeve to get my attention, which I just looked at her blank faced, she got on her tippy toes and kissed my cheek, which made me blush. She noticed and smiled at me with a light blush across her cheeks which made her look like she was glowing. " Are you coming Sebastian?" She asked with a smile that made my heart race, what is she doing to me. " Yes I am and also I'll be helping you with the sweets for the young master" I say with a genuine smile.

~Zeza's POV~

I hear Sebastian respond that he will be helping me which will be nice, since he is head butler and also my greatest friend. I start walking out of the door again, but this time Sebastian is right behind me. His smile was genuine when we were alone, but nots it's forced. When we enter the kitchen I see Bard and Finny talking about what May Rin said to me when we were thought to be alone . Which made me angry that they didn't do anything, but said that they heard all of the awful things May Rin said to me. Sebastian is here and hearing this also, why did he have to be here hearing this about now and from them. "Bard... Finny... why were you there when May Rin said those awful things to me?" I ask saddened that they didn't even notice us standing here listening to their conversation. I look over to Sebastian and he looks like he is going to kill someone. I turn and run as fat as my legs could carry me.

~Sebastian's POV~

While Zeza and I were standing in the kitchen listening to Bard and Finny talk about what May Rin did to Zeza earlier today, but I cannot believe they just let it happen, or they were threatened to not do anything and keep their mouths shut. I feel like killing May Rin at this very moment, but I can't Zeza would probably protect her for some stupid reason. I see Zeza looking at me with fear in her eyes, then she did something I wouldn't have expected, she turned and ran. " Bard , Finny why did you not stop May Rin from hurting Zeza?" I ask with a stern voice, " May Rin threatened us if we told you or tried to stop her. We are very sorry Sebastian, but please do not tell May Rin that we told you or that Zeza heed is talking about it, please we beg you." Bard and Finny say with Sympathy in their voices. " It's a little to late for that know boys and sadly we won't be seeing are dear Zeza for a long time." May Rin says while stepping out of the shadows, showing that she was there the entire time they were talking. I see the look on their faces, which is a look of pure terror and fear for their lives. " May Rin may I speak with you in private? Zeza why do you go to the young master he would be happy to see you." I say with a stern yet monotone voice. I watch Zeza nod her head while waking out the door, when she had left I looked at May Rin to see her smirking. " Finny, Bard go to the garden to play with Pluto" once I said this they ran out the back door, leaving May Rin and I in the kitchen alone. " Sebastian you know I was right in my doing to get that little brat out of are lives, but I do not understand why you saved her, if she had died she would be out of are lives for good." I hear May Rin say as if she wanted Zeza to die, so she could be with me. Which I would never fall for her. " May Rin I'm sorry to say, but you time here has come to a end. You however will not make it to see Christmas." I say as my crimson eyes start to glow with blood lust. She has a look of fear on her face which gave me a wicked smile.  
style="font-size: 12pt; text-decoration: underline;"( I warn anyone who is scared of blood and gaur to kind of suck it up because it will be quick. Thank you.) I cover May Rin's mouth with my hand as I plunge one of my silver butter knives into her head through jaw. I removed the knife and cleaned it. When I was done cleaning it, I called the undertaker to come and remove May Rin's body from the manor.

To be continued . . .


	2. Chapter 2

Sebastian point of view

After I call the undertaker to remove May Rin's body from the manor, I went to see the young master. When I got to his study I entered to see the young master asleep in Zeza's arms while she hummed quietly to him as if he was a small fragile child. Which  
/he is even with every thing he has been through he still is a child, who sold his soul to a demon for the revenge of his parents. Zeta looks so beautiful holding the young master as if he was her own child, she has a glow about her that I love about  
/her. " Zeza may I ask what your full name is, that is if you don't mind me asking?" She looks at me and smiles " Of course I don't mind you asking, my full name is Zecorina Moon Lilly Midnight." She says as if she is not proud of her full name, but  
/I do not wish to ask anymore if it brings her pain in the past back. " Sebastian I can tell you are wondering why I do not like my name it's because of how my family treated me when I lived with them. If you have any questions about me or my life  
/the journal I gave youwould help you or I'll try my best to answer your questions personally." she says looking at me with sad eyes. As I watch her get up while carry the young master she left his study, she is probably carrying him to his room  
/and putting

him to bed for a little bit. I wonder what her family did to her in the past for her not to want her full name to be said aloud, but I'll ask her later.

~~TIME SKIP ( still Sebastian's pov)~~

As I am cleaning the silver I hear someone banging on the door, before I reach the door Zeza has already answered it, but something is not right she is shaking from fear of who ever is the the door, I wonder who is there to make her fear them to the point  
/she is shaking. " Hello Sir welcome to the Phantomhive manner, I'm Zeza the head maid how may I assist you." I hear Zeza say in a monotone voice, I still don't like it when her voice is like that. " Yes you can I need you to follow me Zecorina, your  
/father would like to see you before he leaves for Spain." the person t the door says to Zeza plainly. " No if he wants to see me he can come to me himself, but otherwise I will not go and see him. thank you and have a good day." she says witha  
/hint

of anger in her monotone voice, but why will she not go and see her own father, he is her family. " Please my lady Zecorina come and see your father, he is very sorry for how he treated you when you were a child. My lady please come you can even bring  
/someone with you please if I don't bring you back he will have my head." The man says worried for his own life, but why would her father kill this man if she does not come back with him..."Oh Samuel I do not wish for you to die by the hands of that  
/devil who calls himself my father. Let's go in 20 minuets alright." She says bringing me out of my thoughts. Zeza invites Samuel in to sit while she does what ever for 20 minuets. " Sebastian will you follow me please, I need your help with the young  
/master" I hear her say as she is ascending up the stairs toward the young masters room. I follow after her hoping she'llanswer a few questions I have.

Zeza's pov

When I'm out of Samuel's sight with Sebastian next to me as we walk towards the young masters bedroom. " Zeza 1.) Why do you not wish to see you family? 2.) Who is Samuel? 3.) why would your father kill him if he does not bring you back? 4.) Why did hecall  
you my lady? 5.) what did your father do to you in your past?" Sebastian asks, to my surprise I stop for a second, but I keep walking with Sebastian to my right looking at me ready for my answers to his questions. " I'll answer your questionsjust  
don't ask me my more till I finish" I see him nod in agreement " 1.) & 4.) the daughter of the leader or the blood moon assassins group, this makes me a princess of sorts. I'm the unwanted twin child of the 'King' and 'Queen' of the group.3.)  
My 'father' is a cold hearted person who does not care for anyone but him. 2.) Samuel is a kind man and after the very beating he would clean my wounds and bandage them. 5.) my father seen me as useless so I became everyone's punching bag at theage  
of 6 after 10 years of constant abuse in ran away and after that I came here, this has been were I have lived for the last two years. I'm glad I left because I have a actual family now and he will not take that from me. " I finished answeringhis  
questions, I look over to Sebastian to see he has stoped walking. His eyes show pity, sadness, anger, and to my surprise admiration. " Zeza I'm sorry you had to go through that at a young age, but you don't have to go through that again. Zezawhat  
would happen if you don't go back?" I wish I could tell him all he would get is threats on there lives that would never be followed through, but that would be a lie and I don't want them having false hope." You and everyone I know or care aboutwill  
be tortured and killed before my eyes. Sebastian I'm doing this to save you and everyone else from my father.I'm not doing this to prove anything to anyone,but my father because I'm not the same little girl I was three years ago." I lookat Sebastian  
and he seems shocked that my father would do that instead of just taking my life, but if he is going to come with me he must not worry about me. " Sebastian I have something to ask of you and you can turn me down if you want"I look at him while  
he comes back to reality, " Of course you can ask me anything, I could never turn you down no matter what it is." Sebastian says with admiration towards me. I enter the young masters room, to tell him where me and Sebastianwill be going and  
if he needs anything just call Sebastian and we will return.


End file.
